#and on the note of his behavior to Sasuke in post that’s to ensure Sasuke has the power to survive

[gai-sucks-titties-in-my-basement]

People criticize the Itachi reveal often because I think they have it in their heads that the Uchiha somehow had a chance of survival in a war, when Kishimoto intentionally shows us that the Uchiha failed a war before to a much less powerful and all encompassing opponent. Because the Uchiha aren’t built for war, they are built for love. Itachi made the only decision he could that would guarantee the life of Sasuke Uchiha would be spared. The point of Sasukes character is that he was always loved. His path of darkness does not exist. His revenge is not against a random act of cruelty on him, isolate him, victimized because he is unloved, but a battle for a bloodline that was declared dead the moment Madara conceded. The Itachi reveal is not to “redeem” Itachi its to let us know that the core of Sasukes character was never darkness, but love.

[malachiexists13]

Dramatic vs. Romantic - Mitsuhide's Route Endings

So I recently finished playing Mitsuhide's route for the second time and I have a lot to say. The first time I played his route, I did the dramatic ending. This time, I did the romantic ending. And this is the first time I've ever done both endings for a character and holy shit- the differences.

Something that confused me is how the dramatic ending feels more.. tame compared to the romantic ending. I was always under the impression that the romantic ending is a sweeter end while the dramatic ending is the conflict continuing. But this seems to be the opposite for Mitsuhide and I'd really like to point this out.

Disclaimer: it has been six months since I completed Mitsuhide's dramatic ending so I am going off my memory for this. Also, there'll be discussion of topics relating to toxic or unhealthy relationships as well as attempted murder and drug overdose so if you're sensitive to that, then this isn't the post for you. There'll also be spoilers for Mitsuhide's route (obviously).

In Mitsuhide's dramatic ending, he teams up with Sasuke, Yukimura, Yoshimoto, and MC/Mai to go take down the Shogun, Yoshiaki Ashikaga. But things don't exactly go his way. The Shogun realizes just how important Mai is to Mitsuhide, and in an act of revenge, poisons her with an arrow. It's a slow acting poison that will undoubtedly kill her without proper treatment. By this time, Mitsuhide already knows that Sasuke and Mai are from the future, and so he asks Sasuke if the chances of saving her would increase if they were to return to the future. Sasuke says yes and so, Mitsuhide pleads with Sasuke to save Mai.

Mitsuhide chooses to let Mai go if it'll ensure her survival. He chooses to betray and let her go because he loves her. Of course, Mai lives and stays in the Sengoku and the Shogun is defeated. Mitsuhide realizes the Shogun has to have the antidote so he tricks the Shogun into thinking he's been poisoned as well, which causes the Shogun to unknowingly tell Mitsuhide the right dosage of medicine and the Shogun dies from overdose. The rest of the ending is literally just them spending time together and it's essentially slice of life then. I really like the dramatic ending. It stays true to Mitsuhide's character in my opinion and Mai didn't annoy me as much.

Side note: I really dislike the MCs in these games. Mai and Emma are the only ones I can tolerate. Alice is fucking annoying and Mitsuki (I think that's her name?) is so naive, it hurts. Mai and Emma can actually hold their own, but Mai is still naive in her own ways. Personally, Emma is my favorite. But Mitsuhide's romantic route seems to get rid of what little agency Mai had.

In Mitsuhide's romantic ending, it takes a more dramatic rather than sweet end. Mitsuhide chooses to team up with Motonari and Kennyo, and with some assistance from Sasuke, has the Oda and Uesugi-Takeda form a temporary alliance to distract the Shogun. But things take a turn for the worse. In this ending, Mitsuhide is more possessive and paranoid over Mai. He constantly wants her close and is terrified of being away from her or losing her. He literally threatens to cut off Motonari's hand if he touches her and then later, yells at Motonari and threatens to decapitate him if he even so much as gets close to Mai.

I hate to say it, but that is NOT healthy behavior! If your partner becomes so emotionally dependent to the point where they get so possessive and jealous and can't even bare the thought of you not being in their life, that's not good. To me, it feels as if Mitsuhide is not emotionally ready for a relationship in this ending, not after all he's been through. And rather than acknowledging how unhealthy his behavior is, Mai encourages it. It also feels like a complete 180 from his behavior in his route.

Throughout Mitsuhide's route, he remains calm and composed. Yes, he does express some jealousy such as when he pulls Mai away from Masamune. And he does write an entire fucking comedy to spite and insult someone who made Mai cry- But honestly, Yoshiaki deserved that, let's be honest. And Mitsuhide is a bit rude towards Yoshimoto, but that's literally because Yoshimoto is the love rival and also has feelings for Mai. But besides that, Mitsuhide always shows a willingness to love Mai from the sidelines, and to let her go if it'll keep her safe and ensure she'll live. He acknowledges that he's not the safest man to be around. And this behavior continues in his dramatic end until he accepts her as his fiancée and that she won't let him let her go, so he decides to always love and protect her.

Why is it different in his romantic ending? Why is he more possessive, more paranoid about losing her? And why does Mai encourage this behavior? What changed? I may not have much experience with relationships seeing as my previous relationship ending was my fault and I came to realize that I am ace/aro, but I can recognize unhealthy behavior when I see it. Mitsuhide doing a total 180 with his behavior is weird. Mitsuhide literally panicking over losing Mai even though he'd been so willing to let her go before and literally threatening multiple people on her account is not healthy. It's not endearing. It's not cute. It's concerning.

Encouraging behavior like this is never a good idea and I can only see Mitsuhide getting worse in the long run unless he somehow realizes it himself. But with how Mai encourages it? I doubt it, severely. It's sweet how much he cares about Mai, but it's also concerning. Mitsuhide is a grown adult, being this emotionally dependent on a single person for his happiness isn't healthy. And Mai shouldn't be allowing herself to be so emotionally dependent on a man like this, not one who's willing to die with zero questions asked for the sake of his ideals or one who behaves like this. So no, it's not "sweet." It's a massive and bright red flag.

I'm not trying to say Mitsuhide is toxic or abusive. That's not what I'm implying at all. But, he does seem a bit yandere? Or like he has Obsessive Love Disorder. Something like that. It sort of reminds me of how Logan from The Obsession by Jesse Q. Sutanto behaves. Logan was obsessed with the story's heroine, Delilah, and he expressed his "love" through being sweet to her but distanced her from her friends and stalked her. He literally set up cameras outside her house and broke in a couple times, which gave him something to use as blackmail in order to get Delilah to date him. And Logan was confirmed to have Obsessive Love Disorder which was pretty fucking obvious with how he acted with his previous love, Sophia, and with Delilah. He became obsessed with this version of Delilah he created in his head.

Mitsuhide technically did stalk Mai by "observing" her and he snooped through her belongings to find something to blackmail her. Which that blackmail led to them being faux engaged, then later faux married. I know this was all done to keep her safe from Yoshiaki, but I'm not sure if that entirely excuses it.. There was just so many red flags that stood out to me throughout his romantic ending, I can't even with it. His main route is fine, there is some questionable content but it gets explained either later on in the route or in his POV stories. His dramatic ending is by far, one of my favorite endings and it's one of four dramatic ends I've done- The other three being Edgar Bright's, Chevalier Michel's and Vincent van Gogh's. (Edgar is a fucking idiot omfg-) Really, out of everything in his route, his romantic end is the only thing I have a problem with.

Mitsuhide is not a bad person. His romantic end just tells me that Mai is a fucking idiot and that he may not have been emotionally ready for a relationship. His dramatic end is better. I recommend it, it made me freak out a bit but more in a good way. His dramatic end was essentially "holy shit- what the fuck is even happening?? This is insane" compared to his romantic end being "..WHY ARE THERE SO MANY RED FLAGS???." Both ending pictures are so pretty though like- One thing I agree with Mai on, and that's how pretty Mitsuhide is with his white eyelashes.

I'd also like to say that I am well aware that this is a game from 2017, hopefully, CBYIRD has realized just how concerning and unhealthy this sort of behavior is. The reason it bothers me so badly is because I remember when I discovered this game and how impressionable I was at the time. And it makes me wonder, how would I have reacted to this sort of behavior back then, had Mitsuhide's route been released and I hadn't gotten bored and didn't touch the game for two years? I probably wouldn't have taken it very well and it worries me that other impressionable people may discover this and not realize the red flags.

Btw, for an example of how impressionable I was back then, I didn't realize how controlling and toxic Nobunaga's behavior was until three years later when I finally decided to try playing his route again. I got so pissed off that I quit and I haven't touched his route since. And Nobunaga is one of my least favorite ikesen characters. I have yet to find anything that would redeem him in my eyes.

If you took the time to read this long post, I appreciate it. I'd love to do something similar to this for all the other characters but it may be a bit difficult haha.. Some characters I may end up playing their routes three times, such as literally anyone from ikerev. Since most of those routes I completed back in 2020 or they were just so unremarkable in their ending that I can't remember.

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

i saw your post about Charles and what his personality past and part in the story line so i was wondering if u could do the same for vlad? :)

Ah, well, I can at least let you know what I’ve seen so far? I haven’t delved too far into Vlad, and some of his general impressions can be confusing, so I’ll do my best to make it sensible and unbiased! Here you go lovely <33333

Fair warning, there will be mentions of a lot of JPN app content since Vlad and his boys aren’t around much in the ENG app yet.

My general sense of Vlad is basically discount vampire Sasuke Uchiha.

What I mean by this is to say–according to what I’ve read so far–his clan/family were murdered by vampire hunters in cold blood when he was just a young boy. Presumably as a result of that traumatic event, he harbors a sizable enmity towards humanity and kind of lashes out on them in weirdly specific moments of violence. Another aspect of his motivation is something that’s mentioned within Comte’s route; which is that Vlad went through the timespace door on his own one day and allegedly saw a devastated future, where nothing remains of life on earth more or less.

I guess the reason I find him to be so perplexing is that he speaks about his actions in terms of efficiency, while most of the things he does just feel like unhappy outbursts (v often a product of unresolved trauma symptoms, I’d wager.) I also say this because he appears to have no larger pattern to his fury beyond the original event of his loss. Most of the human beings he attacks aren’t much of a threat to him and hurting them really doesn’t bring him any dividends beyond revenge.

For instance, he insists his disdain for humanity and insistence on controlling them is for the sake of ensuring they do not destroy the future–the horrifying wasteland he witnessed when he traveled through the timespace door. However, I’m not really sure how his current movements really speak to that goal? I mean sure, maybe he’s relying on Faust to create an immortal human so that humans will be forced to care because it will be their future too, but he doesn’t allow Faust to draw his pureblood blood for experimenting. (One can most certainly argue this was more about a lack of trust, and perhaps for plenty reason: Faust is vindictive enough to try to turn the tables and exert control over Vlad, or act on his own whims with his findings.) But if that’s the solution he’s waiting on, turning the rivals of the men in the mansion doesn’t really bring him any closer to that vision either? I mean, what good does it do to bring back Gilles de Rais–a prominent French serial killer? How would unleashing him on the populace help humanity “realize the error of it’s short-sighted and wasteful ways” and move to a brighter future?

Can’t help it, I ask these questions as I read.

In Comte’s main story, Comte hammers home that Vlad is not somebody to be taken lightly. One day when MC goes out to buy flowers, Vlad poses as a human florist to sell them to her–which is how Comte finds out he’s in France, and that he’s made contact with MC. When prompted, Comte describes him in a very particular way; and I think people really overlook this when they talk about their relationship. He says that Vlad is frighteningly pure in terms of the way he thinks and acts. The way I understood his description (given what I’ve seen of Vlad) is that Comte really does mean it point blank: Vlad is very simple in terms of why and how he does things. The issue with this is that nuance and context are lost on Vlad as well–and that’s where the problems start to flood in. Vlad is angry at humanity for what they’ve done to him. Baseline? That’s fair, they killed his damn family. However, Vlad thinks that by extension he has the right to decimate the general public and attack people completely uninvolved in his hurt.

And that isn’t right either–it’s ignoring so many factors here. He’s ignoring how much vampires use and toy with humans as pawns, it’s ignoring the massive power imbalance between him and his victims (this really isn’t a case of self-defense most of the time, nobody but Comte/Leo is a sizable threat to him), and he’s ignoring whether or not a person even did anything to deserve his retributive violence. While murder is never okay, it is perhaps more understandable when we see Jeanne’s frenzied and violent belligerence in response to a man who murders a boy’s mother for the sake of his own amusement/convenience. Vlad literally sees almost every single one of the rivals he created begin to heal/improve and murders them in cold blood because they are no longer of any use to him. That’s uh……..that’s a little messed, not gonna lie to you chief.

While part of me understands the efficiency here–he doesn’t want to leave any traces of his involvement, he doesn’t want any loose ends–it’s also just kind of foolish and cruel ultimately. From my understanding of the narrative, all the people he turned had some visible sign that indicated their origin to Comte. So even if he claims it was for the sake of concealment, it was more likely about his personal convenience. Which…..also yikes.

[Comte clearly does not trust Vlad to be reasonable, and I think there’s plenty of good reason enumerated above, but I actually don’t sense quite so much hatred? I think he’s just given up on the idea of Vlad growing up, even if he doesn’t like giving up on people. And considering Vlad’s behavior, I think it’s overkill to say that Comte just abandons him because he doesn’t care lmao. Even when Comte expresses real anger at the end of his own route, it was more because Vlad was fine with endangering MC’s life just to get back at him. I think Comte’s unhappiness with Vlad has more to do with Vlad’s treatment of human life as meaningless and worthless. It’s fascinating but also kind of sad? Vlad’s traumatic experience results in behavior that is a direct exacerbation of Comte’s trauma, and as such--no matter their potentially fond history--they can’t stomach each other.]

In Comte’s route, Vlad also has Shakespeare abduct MC and take her to the cathedral. Later on in the castle, we see an immediate display of Vlad’s shocking powers: he has the ability to manipulate people’s desires/thoughts. I’m not exactly sure how this works, but he is able to give MC visions of the mansion and Comte coming on to her–which shocks her into realizing it’s all just a dream. It’s not reality; it’s all manufactured by Vlad.

After that...weird introductory note...Vlad gives MC the rundown on his life together with Comte, which as always is subject to a question of bias. My assumption is that he did not lie, only because he was trying to convince MC that he was “right.” Furthermore, he does not omit the most damning evidence of his erroneous judgement, which suggests a continued inability for him to see where he went wrong.

We get a series of three flashbacks. The first is them as young kids. I don’t know if Vlad had already experienced the horrors of his family being destroyed, but this particular flashback focuses on Comte. His parents, in an effort to teach him that vampires and humans have no ability to co-exist, send away all of his teachers/mentors/nannies/the servants--pretty much everyone and anyone he was closely bonded to. Think about it this way: we can see that Comte is very sociable and affectionate by nature. He was living in a house full of people, all of whom cared about him and looked after him in their own way. Now the house is entirely empty. Naturally Comte is very very upset, and Vlad appears to try to cheer him up with little success. 

[When I look back on this scene I don’t think I initially registered the sheer dissonance of Vlad’s reaction, versus Comte’s catatonic misery. There was a very solemn feeling to that memory, and the correct choice in terms of extending comfort is to hold his hand believe it or not. There is a sense that he feels very alone. When young boy Vlad enters one can argue that it was the proper thing to do; he was trying to cheer up his playmate and friend. But at the same time, I think I need to double check. Because I’m beginning to wonder if I was wrong. What if Vlad was happy to see someone as alone as him, and that joy is accordingly dissonant for that reason? He can’t see what Comte needs or how he’s hurting because he’s so glad he isn’t alone anymore in a way.]

The second flashback is the war nurse scene that I have spoken at length about. The important thing to focus on here is Vlad’s surprise that Comte would opt out of turning her out of respect for her wishes. The way Vlad frames the situation is starkly different from Comte’s. Comte sees himself as an outsider, somebody who invaded her life as a result of the timespace door and therefore has no right to suddenly change the course of her fate. He had no idea if she even wanted to live (considering the horrors she’d have to cope with and remember) or leave that time period at all, for that matter (considering the only thing keeping her going was helping the wounded/victims). Comte really was listening to everything she had to say, and he was taking her concerns and motivations seriously. 

Vlad simply says: if you want her, take her. It’s as simple as that for him. And in one way that’s not entirely wrong--assuming Comte would have every intention of looking after her and actually cares a lot about her. But what’s being ignored here is her agency and the fact that they really don’t know each other that well? Something like that could begin and be rocky, if it doesn’t end in complete disaster. Worse, I get the feeling Vlad is perfectly fine with the notion of turning her and if things don’t work out, just kill her or get rid of her. Again, the simplistic thinking comes into play here: it ultimately comes down to Vlad being self-centered. He’s thinking only in terms of satisfying his needs, he doesn’t seem to have any concept of a larger pair or group feeling. There’s an inability to bend/be flexible for the sake of maintaining a greater harmonious feeling. 

[For the record, I don’t think this makes him irredeemable? Only that it makes it very hard to live with him or love him, probably. There’s an inability to live at a joint pace? It’s always answering to what he wants without room for anything else most of the time, which to me is not living and it’s not love ;;;;]

Following their escape back to their own time, Vlad explains how he wants to use the door to turn geniuses and control humanity. He eventually wants to create a surveillance state, which would mean everyone is forced to move with his explicit approval, more or less. (He almost reminds me of Louis XIV, can’t tell if that’s what they were going for.) I have my doubts that his abilities could extend that far, but human history shows us that we are plenty susceptible to fascist and totalitarian rhetoric. In a shocking display of anger, Comte draws the line at controlling humanity and forcing them into a regime in which, and this is Vlad’s description not mine, “we (purebloods) would be like kings.” There’s definitely a concept of evolutionary superiority at play here, which echoes what I mentioned earlier; vampires seem to have this awareness that they’re apex predators in a sense, and enjoy the power that comes with that. Unfortunately, that probably makes for a fairly toxic/uncomfortable larger species culture, which is exactly what Comte and Leo hate lmao.

Vlad does not seem to find any issue with this sort of outlook, and asks MC to decide which of them--Vlad or Comte--is right. Who is more realistic, who best understands the future? As expected the MC replies that it's Comte, and Vlad goes from beseeching to big mad at record speed. He's p much that gif of the teddy bear that smacks its head down on the tables and then has the angry eyebrows.

This is where Comte intervenes, firing a warning shot that grazes Vlad's cheek and demanding he let MC go. In response, Vlad shoves MC into the turbulent timespace door--p much guaranteeing MC's death. (Essentially timespace is a void of sorts, a human being could never survive in that environment for long. Vlad fully knew this, and yeeted her anyway.)

So uh, yeah. Disagreement? Death. Moving on? Death. Nuanced approach to reality? Death. Beginning to think he doesn't really have a lot of patience or open-mindedness or any other kind of problem-solving approach. 

He raises flowers and gardens like a fiend, and he openly plucks any single flower with a blemished leaf. Even if a single petal is slightly damaged, it will be removed and destroyed. So one could argue his extremism reflects a kind of perfectionism as well. No room for errors or troublesome dissent. No ugliness of any kind. I mean in all of his interactions with Faust and Charles this is the overt undertone. Don't ask more of me than I'm willing to give. Behave like good children, mommy's busy. Is that insubordination? boss music begins

One thing I actually don't understand very well is his decision making in Dazai's route. Dazai finds out about what Vlad's doing in a nanosecond when he senses MC is in danger, and yet Vlad makes absolutely no move to eliminate Dazai? He just watches from the shadows. Even when Dazai grills Charles about his loyalty to Vlad, no retribution.

My best guess for this specific situation is that Vlad does derive some level of satisfaction thwarting the future of human beings/former humans. Dazai--being somebody with no great desire to live, no rivals to speak of as far as we can tell, and no larger aspirations--is a life that is easily extinguished. There's no satisfaction in it. When Vlad's clan was murdered and he saw the future decimated, it could be that he felt humans had invaded and eradicated every potentiality that was important to him. Where he might have lived happily with his family, that future was ripped from his grasp. Where he might enjoy his flowers and the creation of an immortal for the rest of conceivable time, that too was ripped from his grasp with a desolate future. 

So much about who Vlad is is about control, so it's very possible his lashing out is an extension of that. Dazai does not awaken any of the disdain he feels, and he does not succeed in overthrowing Vlad's control over Charles, so Vlad simply lurks in silence.

And last but not least, I've seen the preview to Vlad's newest birthday event story. The contents are incredibly revealing, in that MC wishing him a happy birthday and offering him a gift has him saying that it was "the best birthday ever." Granted idk if that’s sweet or just...beyond sad, but here we are. It’s only compounding my curiosity about the wound on his chest--I really do wonder if he was attacked and locked away by vampire hunters or hostile human beings or something. I say that only because that line speaks to a lot of isolation, and given how little he seems to care about turning people/subjecting them to his whims it feels odd. Why the isolation or lack of people who care about him? Is it a perceived lack where his actions alienated all the people who wanted to be close to him, or is it a more involuntary lack?

When she says let’s celebrate again next year, he seems a pleasantly shocked by the notion, and remarks “Ah yes, it’s a promise c:”. The preview was also mega horny: “You make me feel so loved, I don’t think I can be gentle with you tonight. If you enjoy it so much, then I won’t stop. I want to see you completely lost for me. I’ll teach your body what it means to be loved by a pureblood.” Aaaaaand pretty sure the CG was alluding to him licking the good stuff from her basement, though not entirely sure given it was only the preview. 

The brief POV they give us is also very revealing:

“You always keep your promises, and I think I underestimate all the time how much you saved me. You are good, only you are good in this world.”

“Will we continue to make promises to each other in the future? Well in that case--you will always, always be mine, my vampire.”

Tbh he’s...v sweet? In his own way? Honestly he feels like a crabapple that is just so sick of the world and wants softe wife to take comfort in. While granted that’s not really my thing, I know a fanbase appeal exists for these types--so if that’s your thing, have at it!

So now that we have reached the end of my ridiculously long analysis (when am I ever brief, I’m so sorry. If you made it all the way here you deserve a cookie at the very least, if not the right to chase me with a bat) perhaps it’s more clear why I said discount vampire Sasuke Uchiha? “My clan is gone, every other second I’m going to be in retraumatization insanity, when I’m not I’ll be seeking power/hobbies, planning the demise of people who wanted the best for me, building a team to my advantage and unquestioned control, and eventually settling for a lifelong love who sees the best in me despite my more difficult moments and perceived hollowing loneliness. Not the most ideal comparison, but I will say if Vlad was not already named the historical figure, would have pointed and yelled Uchiha.

That’s all from me folks, hopefully this was a fun way to get introduced to him? And again, hope I didn’t alienate--I fully respect what people do and don’t enjoy o7

[psalloacappella]

reprise

Day 4 Prompt:  Teamwork // “I’ll protect you.”

@sasusakublankperiodweek

Ao3 | FFN | ↓

So then, so now. In the simmering tangerine heat, she stands waiting in knee-high boots and the skirt he’s seen her in so often, and he commits her shape to memory through each stage of the return of his sharp sight.

He’s released into a humid dawn with nothing to his name but guilt and the clothes on his back. Things borrowed — the bruises under his eyes, blue.

Emerging from the other side of something indescribable, carrying much more but somehow much less than he arrived with.

Feeling light without the chains of metal and melancholy, the weight of all he’s done. A cyclical cadence of small cold rooms lit by garish bare bulbs and sneers barely concealed by skeptical guards, the entreaties of the interrogation unit, unsure if the gradually softening questions are piteous or a tactic. The same stories to different ears, and the people who adore him creeping at the corners and doors to ensure his treatment is humane.

As the “assigned medic,” as one of the few determined to be able to have even a chance of preventing an escape he has no desire to execute, she’s been his doctor since the first day and his advocate throughout, bringing a semblance of level headedness to the proceedings that Naruto, bless him, isn’t talented in articulating. He’d prefer to raise his voice, brandish fists if he has to, the declaration that he’ll come to blows for his best friend.

So then, so now. In the simmering tangerine heat, she stands waiting in knee-high boots and the skirt he’s seen her in so often, and he commits her shape to memory through each stage of the return of his sharp sight.

They speak around him, Sakura and the last shinobi guard. He lets them.

“He’s been released into my care,” she says stubbornly, folding her arms. Tapping her foot.

The guard has clear reservations, regards her with skepticism.

A fluttering flare of her nostrils, a habit he noticed on day twenty-six; but really, it had only been a forgotten tic of yesteryear, a habit Naruto or even their sensei never failed to induce in her.

“I’m his . . . doctor. I’ll take this from here, thank you.” The acknowledgement is perfunctory, with an edge of dismissal.

She doesn’t unfold her arms or let them fall to her sides until the guard’s long gone, reporting to his next post or perhaps the Hokage’s office, the smoke from his departure whirling and blending with the ripple of a rising summer heat.

Sakura turns, careful to avoid his eyes.

“I suppose that’s that. It’s nice to see you, Sasuke-kun.”

Resists the urge to say he saw her yesterday, and the idiot too, that they’d been around spending far too much time with a criminal, even if newly pardoned. His upcoming stint of house arrest still indicates otherwise.

He knows all the words that would be kind, human, and reasonable to say. Embodying any of those personal qualities would be nice. Instead:

“Why are you here?”

“Actually, I moved around my schedule to make sure I’d be here.”

“I didn’t ask for that.”

“I know.”

She’s not miffed or bothered by him, and that’s what hurts the most. That she expects him to be this:  Curt, angry. Broken, fragile. Physically he’s coming together; mentally he’s held up with thin, fraying strings.

She inhales before beginning again, already sounding wary of his potential response.

“For now they’ve assigned you to your previous living space. In the old district.” For all her poise and command when beholding the human body, ever the professional, the fusion of skin and sinew and soul in need of tender loving repair, she’s fiddling with the edge of her skirt and all he wants to do is make her stop.

“I said it wasn’t a good idea,” she adds, intent on staring just past his ear. “No one has been there for years. It’s not your burden.”

“It’s fine.��� The strain of unuse, and a little swift. A little mean. Without any further gesture, he turns and heads down the street, the gravitational pull of family ghosts too strong to defy. Then he stops, realizing he’s awkward, unsteady, and forever difficult to read.

Looks at her over his shoulder.

“I’m your escort.” She sounds apologetic, quiet.

He wills her to look him in the eyes, but won’t meet hers. Oh, what does that make him? A coward at best.

He waits until she catches up, their difference in height more than he remembers.

The sensation of her lingering at his shoulder, though, sears through his bones as the catalyst heat of sparks on flint, a familiar biological imprint that feels like coming home.

.

.

Three days in a row, she comes to his doorstep.

Three days in a row, she pleads her case.

“Do you think this is good for you? Emotionally, I mean. Sleeping with the ghosts of your past?”

The first attempt to shake her loose goes poorly, and Uchiha Sasuke experiences for the first time and certainly not the last how charmingly infuriating it is to have her stubborn nature focused on him, a spotlight.

Ignoring her questions, unwilling to place a fine point on his obvious dysfunction. “Why are you here, Sakura?”

“What part of ‘released into my care,’ escapes you? You wouldn’t have liked the alternative.”

Each morning visit reveals a wilder man:  A little more gaunt, covered in an additional thin layer of dust. She’s terrified the house, this cursed and unforgiving compound moaning his name, will take him back, as moss commandeers the forest floor, as nature reclaims its kin.

“You at least need to eat. Turn on some lights, open windows.”

Sasuke stares at nothing, everything, and in some terrifying moments, only her.

Pressing her knuckles to her lips as she wanders the old rooms, a tomb of memories laden with the skeletons of furniture, saturated with the kinesthesia of many extinguished lives; swiping fingers across surfaces choked with dust; surreptitiously checking that his pillows are comfortable and that curtains get opened and he eats (which, she notes, he isn’t.)

He refuses to engage and watches her silently — simply living, breathing, feels draining —  but not once does he order her to go.

.

.

She permits his behavior only until Day 4 — so, not very long at all.

Different, with her hair pulled back behind a cloth band of a cheerful color, carrying a box of haphazardly-packed supplies. They stand on the doorstep mirroring one another’s unease, suspended in a place that’s not quite friendship and now, far from war enemies, but a shade of something encompassing nuances beyond.

“If you insist on living among ghosts,” she says, soft but firm, “let’s at least make this all more hospitable.”

Perhaps she notices the way his eyes soften, though he still has trouble facing her head-on. Too bright, earnest, willing to forgive.

I didn't ask you to love me.

Voicing none of this, he instead raises an eyebrow at the box.

“Seems to be more than soap in there.”

A sliver of a moment in which she meets his charcoal eyes — it’s enough to dim the summer sun, melt his bones. Burn down the world.

It cannot be, and here, now, the premonition intuited but not understood in boyhood:  Anyone entangled with him will perish.

Together they could catch fire.

Briskly, to distract from her blush, she readjusts the box in her arms.

“There’s food in here, too. And gloves for all four of us, though I’m sure Naruto’ll forgo them.”

“Us?”

“He’s wanted to see you, and we can’t do this on our own.” A pause before she forges ahead, words skipping and speeding up, gathering courage, avoiding his interjections. “I can order them to the yards and common areas, if you’d rather they don’t touch your things. I understand.”

“You don’t need to do any of this,” he says quietly.

The way her eyes sharpen, albeit glimmering with tears, makes Sasuke feel as though he’s losing his control on the little shred of it he might have had.

“We are always a team. And you and I — we can be one too! I know I can’t save you, fix you. But,” she sniffles, voice in vibrato, “we can at least be something.”

He eases the box from her hands, turning his back on her expression of surprise, of wariness. It’s the first time he’s implied she can come in, rather than her opening the door to his makeshift tomb.

Down a hallway, dim and chilled, she follows close behind. The wisps of socks on cold floors, the only sound in silence.

She reaches out.

He tenses, but like so many times under her touch he relents. Lets her fingers weave into the material of his shirt and hold him in place.

If he didn’t feel her, the misty quality of her voice could be calling from another planet.

“I know you believe you deserve this. To be among these ghosts, these dead spirits, as penance. And if that’s what you want, I suppose I can’t stop you. I never could.”

A tether. If she releases him, he has no doubt he’ll absolutely drown.

“But if they come for you, Sasuke-kun, make it hard for you to breathe . . . I’m here, okay?”

He stifles a noise, a growl and a sob and a sigh. Tries to stop her from sinking into him further, becoming sewn to the tapestry of his cursed history. “Sakura—”

But she is his, as she’s always been,

and she is fierce.

(And they end, begin again, forever something old and something new.)

“I’ll protect you.”